Pride is celebrated. It gets a parade. Doesn’t everyone like a good parade? Pride only get’s a month, when I give myself a whole year. Now that’s prideful. It shows up as a beautiful multicolored flag, but why does it sound so dirty? Pride just hurts!
Tomorrow I celebrate a year of blogging. My first blog post was published, the topic fear. I have consistently blogged weekly, publishing fifty-two blogs. I was able to overcome my fear.
I also had a book fully edited this past year and guess what it’s about? Pride.
On top of that I celebrated another year of being hang-over free! But as a Christian woman who blogs on recovery I am taught that pride is bad. The truth hurts because there’s a case for pride.
I take pride in all of my achievements!
The Case for Pride
Who is she?
Pride is ugly.
She keeps showing up as a broken woman, trying to heal from her past, but stuck wearing a mask to conceal her insecurities.
That is what pride looks like in my life. And pride hurts.
Alcohol is what brought me to recovery, but it is pride which brought me to my knees.
Karen Esbenshade
Pride is bad.
Pride is my ugly side and wants to hide my flawed self. But what I have learned in recovery is it is within my flawed self where my beauty lies.
The alcohol is what brought me to recovery, but it is pride which brought me to my knees. My prideful past is what did me in, not the alcohol.
What is it about pride that people like?
The grow-together.blog is a weekly blog publication which scratches the surface of my struggles with life and sobriety. It is meant for introspection and to question your own daily struggles. Truth Hurts takes a deeper look, sharing my daily struggles in a less formal, more intimate approach,. I will supplement the grow-together post with Truth Hurts digging deeper to spur on healthy growth.
The beautiful side of pride.
When doing research for my book I have three books and/or authorities I reference. Casandra Brene Brown is a professor, author and podcaster. The Gifts of Imperfections has helped with learning to love and forgive myself.
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.”
Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfections
In her book Atlas of the Heart, her words make pride sounds beautiful. By her standards I have a sense of accomplishment with my achievements, worthy of celebration.
But why does Pride make me feel like shit? And pride still hurts.
“Pride is a feeling of pleasure or celebration related to our accomplishments or efforts. Hubris is an inflated sense of one’s own innate abilities that is tied more to the need for dominance than to actual accomplishments. Humility is openness to new learning combined with a balanced and accurate assessment of our contributions, including our strengths, imperfections, and opportunities for growth. We really get this wrong.”
— Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience
Pride and I have a very complicated relationship. Without her my story would be flat. She adds dimension. Without pride I wouldn’t even have a story. It is pride that makes me want to persevere. Pride is a key element for a writer.
But still pride makes me feel like shit.
The Ugly Side of Pride
What is it about pride that people don’t like?
I think it’s the way it shows up. Arrogant, haughty, just plain ugly. Maybe the idea is to show up as a nondescript woman. But as a writer, a blogger how do we do that? My focus while sharing my struggles should not be on me but you, my reader. All of these mini accomplishments and self-worth keep shining through. Did I mention I do Yoga and at fifty-two am in the best shape of my life!
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”
C.S. Lewis
It might be that humility puts pride to shame. Pride draws attention to ourselves, when humility says we are not worthy of the attention.
C.S. Lewis has made a greater impact on my recovery than Brene Brown. Recovery is very humbling and humility is the antithesis of pride. So I am told to be one or the other.
To make me feel shittier yet, we have the biblical view.
Being a Prideful Christian woman is going to hurt.
As a Christian the Bible is our ultimate resource manual so how am I to contradict it’s teachings?
They way I see it is that God wants us to be authentic, true to ourselves and others. Pride for many is what this means.
It’s how I use pride, is where I am struggling. Pride appears through my insecurities, because I am afraid to be 100% vulnerable. My real problem is humility.
“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”
Proverbs 11:2 NIV
Pride keeps standing in the way of my recovery. My ego needs deflated. Even after writing my book, I feel like this past year of sharing I still was wearing that mask. It’s time to take off that mask and be the woman God intends for me to be. The woman not worthy of that kind of attention. The kind of attention that feeds my insecurities.
Pride does hurt, but it’s a good kind. It’s the kind of hurt we feel when we struggle, which breeds perseverance.
Please share with me your feelings on pride and how pride shows up in your life?
4 responses to “Truth Hurts there’s a case for Pride.”
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[…] Pride has been a barrier for me. It is difficult to share my flawed self with others who are struggling. And in recovery it is important to be vulnerable. […]
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“My real problem is humility.” You and me both, Karen! And I was thinking about all of this the other day. Love your deeply insightful posts!
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All these real problems I have, they just keep popping up! I love that you get me🩷
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[…] are good, but pride has a way of disrupting my growth. Pride hasn’t been all that bad. It has helped me persevere. A couple practices to keep in mind while I continue to share are: checking the motivation behind […]
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