Pride, how does she show up?

Have you noticed wherever you go, whatever you do there is a part of you, that no matter how hard you try to hide, seems to make an appearance? It’s like she just follows you around so she can show up uninvited. Her name is Pride, how does she show up on your social media?

Over the years on social media, I have not edited my photos, but am very selective of the pictures I post. I still am. I want others to see me as flattering, not flawed. This is how pride makes an appearance in my life. For some reason I think my outward appearance masks my messy self, but what I fail to see is my friends see right through me. There was and is no hiding of the real me.

Before and After Touch Ups

Recently, I had a head shot taken, the touched up picture is on the right, and the real me is on the left. The edited picture I use as my profile pic on Facebook and on the It is strongly recommended to use a professional headshot when creating a website. We live in a culture which thrives on beauty and somehow beauty equates to trust. People gravitate towards what appeals to their eye. It’s all smoke and mirrors.

The last several weeks I posted pictures of me with a group of friends, a photo of me with my daughters and a swimsuit shot. Each photo shot at a distance and not altered. These pictures are shared through motivation. The pictures complemented my blog series on holistic aging. The point being that the practices I have put into place for my recovery are working.

I am not being boastful, but I am proud of my efforts. I do believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and radiates. Still I continue to find satisfaction of seeing a flattering photo of myself. I am a work in progress. My confidence is growing by accepting my imperfections and strengthening my faith, that is how my pride should show up!

     Why do I write? Simply because I can't talk. Why do I post? So I can hide behind my words, not be seen.

     My older daughter can write and speak. She is a marketer and communicator. She is very comfortable in her skin.

     I trip over my own words as they escape my mouth. And it's not very graceful!

     My younger daughter studies communication disorders so maybe she can explain in her brainy words my problem. She is giving back to children born like her and I.

     Both of my daughters are excelling with their God-given gifts, which makes me boastful.

Do you notice that mom, the one who is constantly posting pictures of their children’s achievements? Well… that’s not me, not to say I don’t post to celebrate my children, that I do. Okay… so maybe I am kidding myself, I do get satisfaction out of bragging on Facebook.

Somehow I think that my daughters’ accomplishments have anything to do with myself or my parenting. This comes from my own insecurities developed from my youth. Most of us are stuck in our past, but refuse to investigate to learn from our past. I am learning to accept my past and grow from it.

Today when I share a celebration I need to remind myself that it isn’t about me. Instead I need to thank God for His blessings, that is how my should pride show up!

A conversation with pride.

The Self-Seeker:
     "My life has gone to hell in a handbasket." Insert perfect   
     picture... "But look at me!" Not bad huh?
The People-Pleaser:
     "Oh poor dear," yawn... "But don't you look lovely." 
The People-Pleaser:
     "Hey have you seen what I've been doing with my social media? 
     I'm on a mission to save the world." 
The Self-Seeker:
     Pass, next post.    

Pride hasn’t made my blogging journey easy. Pride is self-worship and self-preservation at all costs. Pride shows up in our character defects of people-pleasing and self-seeking. I never considered these traits before, but now they read right through my sharing.

I found a passion and a purpose to share. Not everyone is as enthusiastic about my writing as myself. When I come out with my guns blazing and do not receive the attention I desire my pride is hurt. Now this is my real problem!

My insecurities are satisfied when I receive an emoji.

Facebook: Can I get a like?

The Self-Seeker

Facebook is a challenge for individuals who struggle with insecurity. We post, we wait. Sometimes we wait longer not receiving the recognition we strive to get. All I ask for is one emoji!

What I am learning is it is within the wait where we grow. Growing on social media takes time and eventually when faithful we will see the fruits of our labor. Facebook is a landing spot for my blog and isn’t about the immediate gratification (so I need to keep reminding myself!). When I notice people searching my feed, locating a topic posted months ago, this intention shows me its working.

I do struggle with not being liked and again this is due to insecurities from my youth. As a hopeful published writer it is helpful to see who likes my posts, because then I can build an audience. The frustrations I have with not being liked on Facebook I can deal with, because more importantly I can see which topics are of interest. When my Facebook friend clicks on the link to my blog I can build my message around the topics which are of interest.

Celebrating Others: I heart your post.

The People-Pleaser

To build momentum on Facebook it is important to engage with others. I haven’t been very engaging this past year. When I show up I am half hearted, so maybe my friends aren’t feeling my love. I know I need to work harder in order to grow, but am resistant. My passion is to write, not to post.

I am pleased when a friend sends me a message, signs up to receive my blog, or refers to my message in their post. I am not in it to please you, but help you. This is what I want others to know about me.

The purpose behind my writing and sharing to social media is three-part: strengthening my relationship with God, personal growth & healing, and to invite others on my journey. My intentions are good, but pride has a way of disrupting my growth. Pride hasn’t been all that bad. It has helped me persevere. A couple practices to keep in mind while I continue to share are: checking the motivation behind my message that it is not self-seeking or people-pleasing and to be aware so I can surrender my prideful ways to God.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3 ESV

I am a work in progress and it takes daily effort. Pride for me is about authenticity, being true to myself and others. What I need to keep in mind is maybe pride isn’t my only problem. Be authentic, be proud, just beware of envy!

2 responses to “Pride, how does she show up?”

    • It’s one of WordPress’s cool features. I have to say it’s when you zoom in when every flaw comes to life. It’s like they pop right off the page! Thank you for your sweet sentiment!

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