It is through the weaknesses of others that we can be strengthened. And this is most apparent when you place broken people together for healing. Each person seeks the weaknesses of others to use against them for their benefit. When in the end it is their weakness that needs strengthened, because it is their insecurities that provoke their actions against the other.
Marking his territory, he uses his eyes to demand her attention. His eyes speak to her.
Avoiding eye contact, she watches as each word drips out of his mouth. She is easily seduced.
His deliberate, steamy, and warm words sear into her soul.
She knows his kind, the kind that hopes to leave her wet with anticipation.
His intent is to seek out her vulnerabilities, so he can unleash his testosterone.
She finds herself welcoming each shallow word that feeds her insecurities.
His desires are being satisfied for he has an insatiable appetite for the female body.
She beckons his words into the cracks that lead directly to her fractured heart.
His words seep right through, because they lack meaning.
She is a broken woman, left standing over a puddle of shame.
Each of their actions feed one another's carnal desires. For him an addiction to the physical flesh and her the need for attention.
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Surrounded By the Weaknesses of Others
In the depiction above I am simply sensationalizing the weaknesses of men and women who are forced to heal in a coed environment. Is it really a good idea to place a man with sexual addiction in the proximity of a vulnerable woman? That’s another story for another blog and used to illustrate my point.
Weaknesses of Others In Recovery
Perhaps, I am being slightly over-dramatic, but what possibly could happen when you place an insecure, middle-aged, housewife in a house full of strangers to heal? What felt like straight off a set on a reality tv show is where I found myself, watchful cameras included, living on a compound with men and women.
Following an incident that led to the need for rehabilitation from alcohol abuse, I landed at an holistic rehabilitation center. When I arrived I knew I had a problem and was desperate for healing but, I didn’t understand that I, not the alcohol, was the source of my problems.
If a person’s foundation is strong, then temptation will not grab hold. But given a fractured foundation a person can either fall victim to their choices or choose to be strengthened by understanding the underlying factors that contribute to the other person’s weakness.
Fellow Rehabbers
As humans we all have weaknesses. But not everyone chooses to investigate and reveal their weaknesses. And uncovering our weaknesses is not easy. I was placed on a journey that took me away from my family, to live with strangers. And as a sheltered housewife this is exactly what I needed to unearth my weaknesses.
Each stranger who I rehabbed alongside had their own unique weaknesses. When individuals are dealing with addiction and struggling with trauma in their lives, vulnerability can lend itself to questionable behaviors. When spending this intimate time together, we can choose to be alert, intuitively we can get to know each other. I used my eyes and ears, journaling and studying other people.
At the time I did not realize how the actions of others impacted my early recovery. When left vulnerable, it felt as if I got to know others more than they knew themselves, leaving some at a disadvantage when at their lowest point, allowing their defects to be used against them. I chose to empower myself by taking advantage of other people’s weaknesses and vice versa, they did the same.
My Weaknesses Prior to Recovery
God used these new people and experiences to help repair my existing relationships. During a time when I was the center of drama in one of my friend groups, having trouble mothering my adult daughters and in a stale marriage, God made sure to isolate me from those relationships and surround me with His cast of characters.
Family Members
Being married for twenty-five years to the same man and a mother to two grown daughters, who recently left my husband and I as empty-nesters, I became lost. Along with not having the proper coping skills to deal with the societal problems, I found myself in an identity crisis.
Over the years we can easily fall into a pattern of life, we become complacent in our relationships, we are left craving more from those relationships. As women we want to be seen and heard. And I wanted to feel again.
Following the child rearing years, our children become adults and no longer rely on us. We feel as if we no longer serve the purpose of motherhood. For me I still wanted some semblance of power over my daughters and struggled relinquishing control.
I took these relationships fore granted and turned towards alcohol to ease my anxieties. Worst yet… My relationship with my husband and daughters became very codependent. I needed to learn boundaries, healthy coping skills, and to find purpose in my new life.
Friends
Most of my friends did not see my life implosion coming. They were not aware of just how fragile I had become. My drinking problems were apparent to a small circle, but I was able to conceal it from my closest friends and family.
Over the years when drama surrounded me I did my best to avoid it. When my actions were made public, I became the center of the drama and that is when my pride became most apparent. I established that it is my character that needed addressed.
The gossip that circulated due to my life event was a detriment to my healing. I needed to be surrounded by others who also were in their own stage of healing. Spending time with strangers was a very humbling experience. These strangers helped to reenforce my new foundation for growth.
Acknowledging the Weaknesses of Others
If placed in a healthy environment to heal it is safe to be vulnerable. When we are vulnerable that is when our weaknesses are most apparent. And rehab should be a safe space to recognize our weaknesses.
I didn’t realize how God would use each of us to aid in each other’s healing. Learning that healing right alongside the other broken addicts, our weaknesses could strengthen one another over time.
Being weak doesn’t make us less than, but human. Humans are inclined to use others to build themselves up and get ahead. When we look towards God and Jesus we can embrace our weaknesses, and not take advantage of our fellow human. By acknowledging the weaknesses of others we can offer grace just as Jesus offers us grace.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
Acknowledging My Weaknesses to Determine Who I Am
Spending thirty days with strangers who were not aware of my past life helped me to establish the “Who I am.” Affirmations were suggested by others. I was told I was a good mother by several and by one man that I was no better than anyone else. While one man encouraged me to continue my design work, another man used his words to help me feel again and feed my insecurities.
Rehabbing with others exposes our strengths and weaknesses. Overtime we, not just housewives, lose sight of who we are. Being surrounded by the others helped me to find myself and learn compassion. What I discovered is that I am child of God.
I was a prideful woman and in need of being humbled. It was time to Swallow My Pride for healing to begin.
Weaknesses of Others and God Plan
I was given exactly forty days from when I initiated my recovery plan. In those forty days I discovered what true temptation is and that having a faith-foundation is all that I need to combat those temptations.
Each person is strategically placed in our lives to serve a purpose. I was put to the test. During my time at rehab I was at a crossroads and given a new opportunity at life. Which path will I choose? The road less traveled by the righteous, or will I continue on the collision course, the heavily traveled road?
At rehab, I was presented with the tools needed for the daily maintenance required to live a clean life. What remained were my faults to be fully exposed. More importantly, God surrounded me with the people, the cast of characters, which had the greatest impact on my personal growth.
The Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness. And he was in the wilderness forty days, being tempted by Satan. And he was with the wild animals, and the angels were ministering to him.
Mark 1:12-13 ESV
It was at rehab where I surrendered my pride and humbled myself before God. This occurred just two days after Christ’s resurrection. Jesus stayed forty days after the resurrection and shared with the prophets God’s kingdom. Where I chose to rehab offers a spiritual immersion, holistic program, and is not Christ centered recovery. If was a safe place for me to reestablish who I am.
He presented himself alive to them after his suffering by many proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God.
Acts 1:3 ESV
Recovery is a journey and starts once we establish our identity and identify our problems. My time at rehab was impactful because of the environment. The people helped me to identify my flaws and the months that followed through reflecting on my stay I learned to embrace my weaknesses.
I was sent to rehab to find my way back home.
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