I spent 10k to learn how to quit drinking alcohol, after I already stopped on my own. A night of insanity, resulting from an alcohol binge, was enough for me to stop. Still I committed myself to a thirty-day holistic rehab but pleading sanity is what would save me.

And that’s not the crazy part.

Less than a week into my rehabilitation I died a sinner’s death and was reborn. I became a Christian. It was more than the alcohol but I had become insane. What I needed was to restore my sanity.

Pleading Sanity as the Insane Christian

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.
² There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. ³ His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. ⁴ The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.
⁵ The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. ⁶ He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. ⁷ Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”
⁸ So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. ⁹ Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. ¹⁰ Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

Matthew 28:1-10 NIV

It’s Bible stories like, Matthew 28:1-10, that make the Christian appear crazy to the unbeliever. Until you believe your better off insane. The Bible dates back to 1400-1500 BC and includes stories that are passed down generations. For fifty-years I wasn’t a believer, simply ignorant.

Prior to entering into a relationship with Jesus I thought most Christians were slightly crazy. I didn’t understand them, why they acted the way they did. Although I attended church, the rituals and singing were a bit much for me.

The Diagnosis

To understand my transformation we need to look at what it means to be insane. And not just the clinical diagnosis but for the alcoholic or problem drinker as well.

Clinical Definition: National Library of Medicine has retired the word insanity from medical nomenclature for about 100 years. The word implied unsound mind, as persist mainly in criminal matters. In the 19th Century specific types of legal sanity fell out of favor, especially “moral sanity,” referring to irresistible impulses. And in civil cases and criminal cases both denote lack of capacity.

I find it insane that the medical community makes a big deal of the use of the word. But after careful reflection of the clinical terminology I fit the bill. A night of binge drinking led to an arrest. I pled insanity but more importantly pled guilty.

Alcoholic’s Definition: “insanity” is commonly defined as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein contributes this definition for the alcoholic. He is considered a sane, rational, and highly functional individual so I choose to use his definition. And here’s the crazy part you don’t need to be an alcoholic to be insane.

Today I am not an alcoholic but according the Alcoholic’s definition at times I am still insane. That’s a future post, The Recovery Journey: Keeping Spiritual Pride in Check. Today my insanity takes me into the rooms of Al-Anon.

The Surgery

What I didn’t understand is that the transformation to become a Christian isn’t within the mind but the heart. We can attend church, read the Bible, follow other Christians but it is within our heart space that the work is done. It is our polluted minds that keep us from healing.

I went to rehab for alcohol recovery but ended up having open heart surgery.

The Insanity of It All

It was all so crazy! When I returned home from being self-institutionalized, my friends were confused because they didn’t understand why I went away in the first place. Afterall many of them drank alcohol just as I had. They didn’t know the recurring battle I was having within my soul.

Pleading Sanity Vs. Insanity

At the risk of sounding like a crazy person, I have to say I was perfectly sane during the time of my arrest (If you knew the full story, I am certain you would agree). I don’t mean to cause confusion so let me explain: I have been a sane person all along just stuck acting on my insane impulses.

It’s important to distinguish between sanity and insanity. AI states: Sanity is defined clinically and legally as the soundness, rationality, and health of the human mind, characterized by the ability to understand reality, act appropriately, and conform to legal /social norms.

For the majority of my life I acted as a sane person. Each day I was (am) capable of making good choices (which doesn’t always mean that I have or will). I know right from wrong (which doesn’t mean that I always acting out of my moral standards). I knew the impact alcohol had on my personal life, yet I still abused it (I no longer do).

To accept our sins its important to do so with a sane mind. A clear head and conscience allows us to process our guilt and deal with the shame. Both are important to provide a path to heal.

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The Cost of Pleading Sanity

When I left for rehab I was in serious trouble. A night of binge drinking is what initiated my journey but it was my lack of faith that did me in. Given my dire need to seek redemption I found myself deeply convicted for positive change. Timing was perfect because I was in rehab April 4, 2021, which happened to be Easter Sunday.

I chose an holistic rehab, one that introduced a three-pillar approach. My mind, body, and spirit is what was at stake. No where in the literature did it state that I had to enter into a relationship with Jesus. Afterall I didn’t pick a Christian rehab (I heard those were horrific).

Unintended Consequences

My goal was to work on my problem with alcohol and perhaps get a lighter sentence. I didn’t know that it was my heart that needed to be healed. When God works on your heart you become a changed person.

Prior to rehab a friend may have referred to me as a drunk (lovingly of course) and after that the same friend called my husband and I “Bible Thumpers.” Rehab may have cost me some friends but my new and improved heart has strengthened other friendships.

A gift of recovery is strengthened and healed relationships.

Surrender

To surrender is to not give up but sacrifice what no longer serves. Control was a major problem that I struggled with. During a time when we lost the autonomy of our bodies I resorted to alcohol to deal with my emotions.

By giving up alcohol I was able to maintain my sanity. An even bigger gift is having a mind free from toxic and negative thinking, all through surrendering. Today it’s a daily effort but I can easily surrender what no longer serves me.

There is a stigma attached to Christians that they are weak. The same stigma applies to those who choose recovery. When we surrender to our higher power it frees us from the bondage of ourself. The most courageous act is to place your trust in your Higher Power.

For me it’s Christ.

The Reward Of Pleading Sanity

Sanity as a Christian isn’t about conforming to the world standards but being renewed inwardly by the Holy Spirit. The result is a sound mind that is grounded in the truth of Jesus Christ. It’s about replacing fear with trust and practicing humility. Today I practice self-control and accept life on God’s terms, not my own.

This leads to a lifestyle of peace.

Peace

Each day there is a battle brewing. I have been given the tools and the body armor for combat. Today I don’t regret yesterday, nor do I fear tomorrow, but I have contentment right where I am at.

I can extend the same peace to others.

Love

The best thing is that there is no cost to being a Christian. God accepts each of us, not through our good works but because of the love He has for us. He sacrificed His only begotten Son.

Pleading Sanity is the Best Defense

Today Christians around the world, many of whom do not have a personal relationship with Christ, celebrate the resurrection of Christ. Let Easter be a reminder that you too can plead sanity when it comes to sharing your testimony.

If you are a non-believer or agnostic in your beliefs and doubts the Bible it’s time to listen. It’s within the testimony where the truth is told and how the Christian is able to avoid persecution. Salvation is available to anyone who is open to it.