One of the many struggles of raising children is watching as other families thrive. Each family is well aware of the dysfunction in their own household but unable to see through the lens of perfection into the lives of others. What we view as a thriving family might just be a family slowly cracking under the stress fractures of life. It is those cracks, embracing those imperfections, that will make us stronger.
Ancient Art of Embracing Imperfections
Kintsugi is a type of art made by the Japanese that embraces imperfections and can be equated to the importance of how we deal with the brokenness in our personal lives. It is the process of purposefully taking the pieces of pottery and reinforcing with a lacquer mixed with powdered gold, which highlights the imperfections rather than hiding them. The ornate pieces of pottery represent the beauty of human fragility.
The joining of gold is a reminder to stay optimistic when life falls apart and to celebrate the missteps as we journey through life. March 17, 2021 is the date my family fell apart. I watched as my husband and a daughter each succumbed to the fragility of life. As a mother I had no choice but to find a way to keep our family together.
Our fall was not a private event and eventually our imperfections would be on full display for anyone who wished to bear witness. It isn’t about the alcohol for me, but my pride. I did not want to be viewed as an imperfect human being.
Subscribe for free to read a weekly blog post sharing our daily struggles.
The Attempt to Repair My Imperfections
My destruction left me numb. I knew that I could no longer live a life controlled by alcohol. Due to my fragile state and the condition of our family before the destruction, this could have caused an even greater divide within us. After a cooling off period, my family started to lean in. We needed broken to be made whole.
With the support of my husband and daughters, I picked up the shards left of my life and chose a holistic rehabilitation that would work on my whole being, my mind, body and soul. The intent was to work on myself, not just a problem with alcohol.
It did not take long, less than three weeks for our private family matter to become public. People talk and we have a news media that caters to the insatiable appetite to feed the curiosity of others. My pride made an appearance. Not only was I mortified by my actions, but I felt vilified by a community who I once trusted. I would not be able to fix my problems on my own.
God Embracing My Imperfections
My pride stood in the way of my healing, attempting to mask my flaws. Out of desperation I called out to God and He answered. Just two days after celebrating Jesus’s resurrection I surrendered. Humbling myself is a safe way to embrace my imperfections. This is the first time I put God and a relationship with Jesus before my family.
In life it is typical to discard what is broken. Experiencing the backlash from a community where I once belonged, I feared being tossed aside from a relationship that had crumbled. I discovered that God has other plans. He places the people in our lives that will lean in and strengthen us.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-11 NIV
Broken for a New Creation
Following years of neglect, I succumbed to the pressures of life and broke.
When a parent breaks the family is left fractured. And when a mother and wife who runs the household breaks, she has no choice but to pick up the pieces and forge ahead.
The weight of the broken pieces was too much to bear. I could no longer hold on to the guilt and shame.
Less than three weeks into my recovery it was as if someone took a pick ax and shattered my broken self into dust. It wasn’t just glue that I needed for reinforcement, but a potter for a new creation.
God’s hand is behind the brokenness and crumbling of my life. It is by His hand I am being rebuilt. When given a second chance at life, it is not to be forsaken. I can be the woman, wife, and mother He intends for me to be.
