Part One: Drunk On Words is a bio of my alcoholic past written by my sober self.
In my past I was drunk on my words.
There is a girl who I once knew. As a young child, she felt like a grown up with her friend, Shirley Temple. As the years went by, she was warned to stay away from the Red Headed Slut.
In her adult years, at times she would get Salty around her Rim, eventually learning how to Mix-In well with others. She could easily dress up for the occasion, known to be quite Cosmopolitan and other times Pop her open, just to chill.
In the past she would have enjoyed a little Hanky Panky, but as she matured wouldn’t mind getting Extra Dirty. Sometimes she enjoyed a little Sex on the Beach, eventually settling for a Breeze on the Bay.
Call her Old Fashion, she liked the taste of a Buttery Nipple, but it wasn’t really her thing. She ended up falling in love with the Tequila man.
Her dinner companion was her best friend, Kim Crawford, but would drop him just like that when Bailey came around for dessert.
One too many and she would end up with a Mind Eraser. In the end what she found most refreshing was a Tall Drink of Water.
Her friends like to get Bloody with Mary on a Sunday morning, while it was the Blood of the Lamb that saved her. And it wasn’t Mary’s little lamb, if you know what I’m saying?
Swallow Your Pride, Chapter Three Introduction
To be able to share my alcoholic past I have to be stone cold sober. It took months of exploring my past and getting reacquainted with myself: to learn what it is to be an alcoholic vs. a problem drinker. And which I identify with. So unless you are willing to do the work you may never be able to solve your potential problem.
The following are terms to consider and how they might apply to your drinking history and how to address your potential problem:
Alcoholic vs. Problem Drinker https://alcohol.org/alcoholism/or-is-it-just-a-problem/
Sober vs. Sober-minded https://dailyhisdisciple.com/2021/09/11/sober-minded-in-the-bible/#:~:text=In%20Titus%202%3A4%2C%20for,in%20control%20of%20your%20thoughts.
Recovery vs. Recovered Alcoholic https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-high-functioning-alcoholic/201005/being-sober-versus-being-in-recovery
My life choices took me to a place where I had no choice but to follow a new path. A path that led me to sharing my story. Since I am dragging you along on my road to recovery I only think it fair to give you a brief history as to what I have been through the last twenty-two months and what led to my troubles.
Bio of my youth.
Throughout my young adulthood I would not have considered myself an alcoholic. I was not born an alcoholic. And like many alcoholics I did not feel as if my first sip of alcohol was an indication of alcoholism. Since my early twenties I have had a drinking problem. It was not a problem which disrupted my daily life, but it has interfered with past relationships.
Bio of approaching my middle aged self.
As I aged my drinking became consistent and it took on a significant role in my life. The years leading up to the health crisis which waged war against the world my drinking started to hijack my life. And when COVID hit my daily life was consumed with the thought of alcohol. Alcoholism was grabbing me, taking hold and it was relentless.
Bio of my turning point.
After a well-publicized incident I decided to make substantial changes to my life which would not only impact me but my loved ones. I entered a detox , a pre-requisite to rehabilitation. Attending detox as a sober woman opened the door to a whole new world. I witnessed first-hand the brokenness of our society.
The next step of my journey I voluntarily went to a thirty-day rehabilitation center. It was this place I realized the impact people would have on my recovery. God places the people in your life strategically. I learned that we cannot hide from temptation. Temptation will find us in the most unlikely of places.
Bio of my recovery.
During my time away and when I left rehabilitation, I learned true disappointment. Disappointment which led me to resentment. Resentment which led me to compassion. I spend time in recovery meetings with people from all walks of life. It is these people who have the most impact on my recovery. It is what I learn in the meetings which make me want to be a better person.
I have to learn to navigate my marriage where alcohol plays a major role. It hasn’t been easy for myself or my husband. What I am learning is the one thing that is trying to tear our marriage apart is making it stronger.
Place your drunk words on paper. What is the bio of your alcoholic past?
If your sober self shares the stories of your alcoholic past would it be fact or fiction? When you explore your drinking history will you be honest with yourself? Or will you paint a picture of the person you wish others would see you as?
Your first exercise is to examine your alcohol related behavior. And to do so the first rule is to be honest with yourself. Place on paper what you have done in the past which signals a potential problem with your drinking. What would you like your recovery to look like?
This is the first of a series of blogs which addresses alcoholism and/or problem drinking. I will only scratch the surface, because learning about alcoholism and recovery is an ongoing journey for myself. I will share my experiences and what I have learned during recovery. As humans we are each unique, our experiences and journey towards recovery may vary. But it is up to you do take the initiative and do the hard work.
Trust me the rewards far out weigh the temporary high you receive from those multiple drinks.
Being drunk on the biblical words.
The success I have had on remaining sober I attribute to daily practices, one of which is referencing the Bible when I write. Scripture helps when I am having difficulty putting my words on paper. The lessons I gleam from the Bible help with my blog creation. Drunk On Words encourages those who refuse to grow-up, to consider taking that big step and see how good life can really be!
For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do – living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry.
1 Peter 4:3 NIV
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As an imperfect human my growth has been spurred on by a life catastrophe, because I chose to ignore my struggles. Instead of choosing to look inward and identify the source of the problem, which was ME, I placed blame on the society around me. The end result was to numb my discomfort and quell my anxieties with that one glass of wine. By the grace of God I was able to seek forgiveness and unearth my flaws. Through sharing with others I was able to accept my flawed self and learn I did not need to suffer alone. The result peace, from a loving God, not the spirit in the bottle.
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