Have you notice the thirst following a rigorous workout? Your body craves an endless flow of hydration. Or maybe your at a party, and the exuberate crowd is chanting, “Shots, shots, shots.” The liquid potion burns as it goes down but offers a kick start to a night of drinking with friends. If hard alcohol or the party lifestyle isn’t for you, perhaps, it’s that Sauvignon Blanc. A cool and crisp refreshing drink that’s been on your mind all day and when left alone with the bottle what could go wrong? Liquids flow into our bodies for different reasons. But pride? Why would we want to swallow pride?

Why Pride?

Pride is a loaded word and has been used by different groups of people to represent their values. It stirs up controversy, being used positively and negatively. It’s a word I gave little thought until April 6, 2021, when I sought redemption for my sins.

Pride: A Brief History

Christianity & Pride

The C. S. Lewis Institute states Pride first appears in the Bible in Genesis 3, where we see the devil, that “proud spirit” as John Donne (an English poet) described him, using pride as the avenue by which to seduce our first parents (Adam & Eve). Taking the form of a serpent, his approach was simple yet deadly. First, he arrogantly contradicted what God had said to Eve about eating the forbidden fruit and charged God with lying.

Pride is rooted in the first book of the Bible, when sin was originated. Christian theology recognizes pride as a deadly sin, greater than all other sins. All other sins pale in comparison.

According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere flea bites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil:
Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind…… it is Pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began.

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: Simon & Schuster Touchstone edition, 1996), 109, 111.

The Present Day Cultural Movement & Pride

Years before the Stonewall Uprising, the concept of gay pride was starting to emerge within the LGBTQ community, according to Marc Stein, a history professor at San Francisco State University who has written six books on LGBTQ history.

“ There was even a group in Los Angeles that was founded in 1966 — so three years before Stonewall — that used P.R.I.D.E. as its acronym,” he said. “ It stood for Personal Rights In Defense and Education.”

Word of the Week: How ‘pride’ shifted from vice to a symbol of LGBTQ empowerment

The original slogan to represent the Gay community was “Gay Power.” L. Craig Schoonmaker argued for “pride.” “There’s very little chance for people in the world to have power. People did not have power then; even now, we only have some,” he said. “But anyone can have pride in themselves, and that would make them happier as people, and produce the movement likely to produce change.”

Similarities & Differences With Pride

Both Christianity and the current day Pride-movement are symbolic of embracing our identity, equality, dignity, and acceptance but yet view pride differently. Both ideas embrace the beauty of God’s creation, being respectful of humanity and loving thy neighbor. Self-love is paramount for all.

Sin

The original intent of the current Pride movement was not one of pridefulness, but of self-esteem. The focus remains on the individual, declaring their behavior is not sinful. It’s contradictory to the Christian philosophy that we are all sinners. Our personal sins are between us, individually, and God.

Identity

We are all made in the image of a loving God which unites us. The problem lies within our identity. Although we should encourage others to embrace their identity, the emphasis shouldn’t be solely on one’s self. When we place too much importance in what defines us, we allow society to dictate who we are. That’s when we lose our sense of self and fall prey to pride.

Pride the Bad and the Good

PRIDE it’s such a demanding word. It has an unapologetic bold stature with an angular frame. It’s weighted with negative qualities and wedges into our throat allowing liquid to freely flow in, while our arrogant words escape.

P R I D E it’s over inflated, taking on a hubristic form and drawing attention to it’s self. It’s over confident and conceited. Each trait that makes a person intolerable.

So, why do we live in a country that celebrates it? We even carry a colorful flag that symbolizes the beauty of our identity. It stands for acceptance and against shame. How can such a beautiful concept be tarnished?

As parents we say to our children, “I’m so proud of you.” We honor achievements and recognize hard work by showing our pride. It sounds so bitter, yet we crave it from others. So why swallow it?

Swallow Your Pride: The Idiom

Idioms are controversial expressions within writing. Although they add texture and character, if overused the writer’s content can lack creativity. But when using pride as the source of a problem that leads to substance abuse and recovery the phrase “swallow your pride” is appropriate.

Dictionary.com states Swallow Your Pride is to humble oneself, as in She decided to swallow her pride and apologize. This idiom employs swallow in the sense of “refrain from expressing,” a usage dating from the early 1600s.

In recovery amends is a key component to healing. And the use of the word “swallow” to pause and digest before speaking represents self-control. Humility is the antidote to pride and it’s what we learn when we work our Christian-centered recovery steps.

Common Problems

The Christian recovery movement includes those of all sexual orientation. No matter our sexual identity; alcoholism and substance abuse wreak havoc in our lives. Our problems with abuse are rooted in our past and the same solution is available to each of us. It’s pride that prevents us from recovery.

People In Need Of Humility

The difference is as a Christian we are to not put the attention on ourselves, rather the focus should be on others. Whereas, the cultural movement places the focus on themselves. Humility is the key to shift from inward importance to outward, putting others first.

Perhaps we need a new movement: The Humility Movement

The Humility Movement

My recovery is as much about everyone else than myself. When I place my focus on others it makes me want to be a better person, not the drunk I once was. Pride kept the focus on my negative qualities, preventing a healthy path forward.

Humility is the key to my recovery.

Why not alcohol?

The focus of my recovery is not the alcohol I consume but the pride that prevents my healing. It’s what kept me from making healthy changes to my life. The alcohol is simply what I used to numb, when really what I need is to feel.

Today alcohol is not my problem. It no longer has a hold on me but my pride still rears it’s ugly head, challenging me to a game of whack-a-mole. Daily, I need to work my steps to combat pride.

The Root of the Problem

Recovery isn’t about the substance we ingest but discovering why we choose to numb in the first place. And for many the first steps are the hardest. Once we step out of denial and choose to heal the progression happens naturally.

Ask yourself these questions…

• Do you have a problem with alcohol?
• Are you able to stop?
• Why do you continue the cycle of drinking, instead of abstaining?
• What and/or who do you blame for your drinking?
• How do you view the alcoholic and/or problem drinker?

Pride is what hinders us from facing and accepting our problems; pride keeps us from seeking help; pride tells us we can continue a lifestyle that is harmful to us; pride tells us that we don’t have a problem and we are not the cause; and pride tells us we are better than the alcoholic.

I have been a drunk, I have lusted over men, I have been greedy, I have been envious of others, I have been a glutton, and a sloth. I got away with all of these sins but it is my pride that took me down in the end. My pride is my motivator for change.

We are all sinners but it doesn’t give us a pass to drink uncontrollably and treat others like shit. When I initially sought help for my problem I noticed an over abundance of recovery books that focus on alcohol, few that highlight character defects. Most of my friends liked the Karen they drank alcohol with but my pride always made an appearance when I drank. And even being stone-cold sober my pride still took center stage.

It’s our pride that keeps us sick, not the alcohol. So what’s a sinner to do but write a book about Pride.

Swallow Your Pride: The Solution to my problem.

A night of binge drinking that led to an arrest is the catalyst of my journey. Although my actions were reprehensible enough to stop drinking and find a solution to my drinking problem, it was the perception of how others viewed me that initiated change. I needed to learn to humble myself, accepting yes I do have a problem and it is a problem of my own making.

Pride is the problem, not alcohol, hence the title Swallow Your Pride.

Pride Is My Problem

It was pride that kept me from accepting my problem with alcohol; it was my pride that kept me from getting the help I needed; it was my pride that kept me drinking, when I knew I had a problem; it was my pride that told me that I didn’t have a problem and I certainly wasn’t the cause of it; and it is my pride that kept me from recovery, because I wasn’t one of those people.

Over the years I have been proud of my accomplishments and still struggle with my pride getting in the way of being the best person I can be. As a human, I struggle with humility. And it wasn’t until I turned fifty and entered into a relationship with Christ that I started to understand. Instead of placing the focus on myself and my recovery, I need to focus on others who are in the midst of their struggles.

Writing & Publishing Is My Solution

Writing is a tool of expression, a place to workout my daily struggles. By publishing I invite others to journey with me towards healing. Writing isn’t for everyone but we all benefit when others share their stories.

Swallow Your Pride: The Self-Help Book

Swallow Your Pride, A Writer’s Guide for Recovery is a self help book written to entertain, not just educate. It’s a book not solely for the alcoholic, but written for the woman who is too proud to accept that she is the source of her own problems.

Book Blurb

By the time we reach middle-age we lose sight of who we are, no longer recognizing our reflection in the mirror.

Which begs the question, “How well do you know that woman staring back at you?”

Swallow Your Pride takes you on an introspective journey, sharing my brief stint at rehab to discover that alcohol is the least of my problems. It is there where you meet Jezebel, a fictional character, who represents the manipulator in each of us. She is the woman that disrupts our path to heal.

• Is alcohol part of your story?
• Have you been playing the role of antagonist, creating the drama?
• Does shame prevent you from revealing your backstory?
• Do you know the importance of storytelling in recovery?
• Are you ready to rewrite your story, creating your happily-ever-after?

Alcohol, recovery, and shame are tough words to digest. Even more difficult to accept is that you, not society, are the source of your problems.

Swallow Your Pride: A Writer’s Guide for Recovery

Swallow Your Pride, A Writer’s Guide for Recovery gets directly to the root of the problem of those who abuse substances. It exposes our defects of character. The book encourages the reader to do away with what no longer serves, while embracing their flawed self.

It’s part memoir, part instructional, and part novel, all wrapped up into one book to take the reader on a journey of self-discovery.

It’s a guide to help you rebuild out of your authentic self.

More Blurb

A Writer’s Guide for Recovery lovingly peels back the layers of self to reveal the beautiful, main character, God has cast for your story.

Humble Yourself

Each day our bodies are challenged with the rigorous workout we call life. We need the tools to take control of our defects of character. God fully equips us but first we need humbled.

My past has been tarnished by my own doing. Fortunately, because of an openness to a new way of life I am being set free. There is so much beauty found in forgiveness and salvation. No longer do I view myself as perceived by others, but I am created in an image of a loving God.

In my life pride shows up not as a positive influence but one with an agenda. Our focus for recovery starts with us, individually. Once we humble ourselves we can be of service to others.

Pride is what divides us, whereas Humility unites.

Express Your Humility

Writing a book that shares my destruction helped me build a foundation on God’s truth. However, it is my ongoing recovery that will produce a humbled heart. And it is with an humbled heart that I can best serve others.

Humility supports personal growth by learning from our mistakes and from others who have traveled down the same road; humility offers compassion and empathy to people who I once judged; humility promotes a healthy view of self, not needing validation from others; and humility promotes positive values, like patience, kindness, generosity, and gratitude.

People of all demographics are prone to alcoholism. Pride impacts each of us the same way. Each person should be authentic and embrace their beautiful flawed selves, just as we are created by God. Humility is the key to recovery.

We don’t need a flag or a parade to draw attention to ourselves, rather place our focus on the greater good and our higher power.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 16:18 NIV

Note: The title, Swallow Your Pride, stirred up controversy with a secular publishing company who was interested in my book but asked that I downplay my recovery experience that is rooted in my faith. While they didn’t want me to exclude the story of my rebirth, they thought the focus should be placed on the other themes in my book, such as, relationships and coping skills. The book encourages each to be true to themselves and not bow down to society and their expectations.