The crime he committed is so heinous, but his desires were so strong that he could not control his urges. She was the intended target and bears the weight of his addiction. The addicts truth, he’s merely human and it’s not about being weak but not having the strength to resist temptation.
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
True or False
Common Myths and Misconceptions About Alcohol Use
Drinking is different than having a drink. It's about how much I drink, not the reason why I use alcohol.
It's the weekend and I have earned a night of drinking. I'm dry all week so certainly I don't have a problem.
When life get's tough it's okay to be pacified with alcohol. It doesn't mean I will become dependent.
Now that I have coping skills I can resume my drinking. I have complete control over my consumption.
I can have just one drink. One drink doesn't change who I am or alter my emotions.
A drink helps me to stay awake. It stimulates me.
In menopause I am having trouble sleeping. One drink before bed relaxes me for a good night's rest.
Red wine... a glass a day promotes good health.
Social drinking alcohol keeps the fun flowing when out with my friends.
The Addicts Truth
It’s about being human.
Humans are innately flawed beings. We are born as beautiful, unique creatures, and shaped into our adult-selves by our experiences. Given free-will at birth, gifted with the choice to choose. For many we simply make the wrong choice.
For many we simply make the wrong choice.
Karen E.
It’s not about being weak, but being strong. The addict simply allows the insanity to take over. In Alcoholic Anonymous the definition of insanity means to repeat the same actions over and over, while expecting different results each time. The addict doesn’t have the willpower to resist temptation.
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My Truth
It’s about surrendering to God.
The Addicts Truth
I drink alcohol.
There I said it and it’s not like it’s a secret. I am transparent with my family, friends, and my recovery groups that I drink alcohol. I know myself better than anyone else, but it took over fifty years to get to know myself. Alcohol isn’t my problem.
My history with alcohol started in my late teens and I nurtured it for thirty+ additional years. Over the course of my adult years I used alcohol in social situations and for relaxation. It eventually evolved into a craving. Most of my adult life I was able to maintain control, except (and this is a big one!) when I binged.
In my forties my drinking habits started to change. I started to drink throughout the week, approximately four nights per week, one drink a night, except weekends when it was game on. By the time I had turned fifty our world was in the midst of a pandemic and alcohol was my solution.
Changing My Narrative
I started to crave and then obsess the alcohol. I knew I had a problem and thought since I still could turn it off, I could manage it. What I didn’t notice was how my behavior was changing. The alcoholic behaviors were present and I became a woman in need of change.
Alcohol abstinence was my first step.
… alcohol isn’t my problem. I Just made it my problem.
Karen E.
Following my rock bottom, which was alcohol induced, I took a eighteen month hiatus from drinking alcohol. I did not have a problem quitting or maintaining a alcohol-free lifestyle. Since, I have been doing a thorough introspection of my life and my conclusion alcohol isn’t my problem. I just made it my problem.
Identifying My Truth
I had to decipher my alcoholic condition in order to make a plan. Was I a casual drinker, problem drinker, or an alcoholic? My truth is that I was a casual drinker, because I liked to drink casually with friends. I also was a problem drinker, because I allowed alcohol to wreak havoc in my life. And yes… I do believe that I was an alcoholic, because I crossed that fine line.
Alcohol was my solution to cope with life. And for a woman who surrounded herself with likeminded people it didn’t take much convincing that alcohol was the answer, not a problem. I lacked a foundation and peace.
My Spiritual Truth
It’s about finding what works for me. Following redemption for my sins, I surrendered my life to God. Read The Curator of Your Story to hear my story. I discovered a new way to live that doesn’t include getting intoxicated from alcohol, instead by the Spirit.
My focus shifted from alcohol and attending Alcoholic’s Anonymous to Celebrate Recovery, where I can focus on my higher power. This isn’t what gives me the permission to drink because I permit myself to have a glass of wine on occasion, not a drinking spree.
Drinking alcohol isn’t a sin, but the overconsumption and alcoholic behaviors are sinful. When I sought redemption for my sins it wasn’t for the alcohol but the actions brought on by the alcohol. I surrendered to God that area of my life and will not forsaken His gift of grace.
We live in a world that is fixated on alcohol. It’s easy to market to our weakness when we don’t have a foundation in place. I simply am replacing the liquid spirit with the heavenly Spirit.
What’s Your Truth
It takes courage to admit our weakness.
The Addicts Truth
The other week I was with a friend, driving her to our recovery meeting. She is an amazing woman/mother who struggles with her addictions. In conversation I hesitated before reminding her that I do drink alcohol, even in recovery. She reminded me that recovery is an individual journey.
The truth is because I can drink alcohol and not be off to the races doesn’t mean that a friend who struggles can do the same. Do I crave alcohol? No. Do I obsess over alcohol? No. Alcoholism is a multi-faceted problem and extends past the obsession and cravings. Mental illness and trauma also have an impact on the addict. That is why recovery is more than just the alcohol.
If you struggle with addiction, maybe it’s time that you are honest with yourself. I encourage you to take a pre-determined length (perhaps a year) and abstain from your addiction. Do the work; read books from those who are successfully navigating their recovery; join a community and attend recovery meetings; and once you have support in place, start to reveal the roots of your addiction and discover what healing is all about.
Note: It’s important to know that alcohol detox can be deadly and depending on the level of dependence you might need a doctor to prescribe drugs. I was able to detox, simply by stopping.
Revealing Your Truth
How do you know if you have a problem with alcohol? Do you consider yourself a casual (social) drinker, a problem drinker or an alcoholic? There are two distinctions between the alcoholic and problem drinker.
- An alcoholic is unable to control the amount he or she drinks.
- An alcoholic is unable to stay sober on willpower alone without professional help.
At the onset of my recovery I identified as an alcoholic. I took the DSM-V to help determine this self-diagnosis. Review the following bullet points and rate yourself:
- Drinking more or longer than intended
- Wanted to stop or moderate more than once but couldn’t
- Spending a lot of time drinking or being sick from drinking
- Experiencing cravings or strong desires to drink
- Drinking interferes with work, school, family, or social life
- Continuing to drink even after it begins to cause trouble
- Giving up activities that were once important
- Engaging in risky behaviors while drinking
- Continuing to drink even if it makes you more depressed or anxious or causes health problems to progress
- Developing a tolerance to alcohol
- Experiencing withdrawal symptoms if alcohol is not consumed
If you score 2-3 symptoms denote a mild alcohol use disorder while 4-5 is moderate, and 6 or more is considered severe. My initial score is 6 but today it is 0.
The real truth is do you want to do something about your drinking? Change happens when we seek it and there are a variety of groups available for those who wish to recover.
The Choice is Yours
This post isn’t to advocate for drinking alcohol safely. It is to embrace a lifestyle that isn’t dependent on alcohol but maintains a sober mind. Drunk On Words: Sobriety Challenged or Sober-Minded shares what it is to be sober-minded. Our mind isn’t just impacted negatively from the alcohol we drink but the choices we make from not having a strong spiritual foundation.
It’s about your personal truth when it comes to how you choose to deal with life. Are you easily tempted and choose to commit sin? In the introductory paragraph I depict a man who has acted on his weakness of the flesh. It’s not that he has a weakness but that he acted on it. That is what makes him a sinner.
If consuming alcohol has the potential to lead you to sin then it might be best to entertain the idea of abstinence. After a thorough introspection you might determine that abstinence is key. Or you might discover that you are simply missing a foundation that keeps you from the obsession and craving for the alcohol or drug.
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Either way it for you to determine your path and the tools needed to maintain the sobriety that is right for you. The time is now. Peace is right around the corner. And you have a choice to make.
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.
1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT
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