Starting in our childhood and into our teenage years we are exposed to behaviors, good and bad. Alcohol dependence is contributed by a sequence of learned behavior along with having maladaptive coping skills. A positive learned behavior which would help counter underage drinking is discipline.
Discipline Throughout the Years
Softly playing in the background, Good Feeling, triggers a memory as I flow into my plank. The Yoga instructor warns us to lean forward, keeping our backs inline. My abs harden when my mind continues to drift off. I find myself at the top of a summit after climbing the steep hill. Flo Rida’s lyrics lull me into a runner’s high. I start to reminisce years prior, the teenage years when I started to run. I didn’t excel at running because I lacked discipline.
The initial memory is from a good twelve years ago. A time I had discipline. Prior to that time period and after I struggled. Abruptly, the instructor tells us to smile. When we smile, we release dopamine. I can’t help but to laugh, because to my left I hear a grunt and a giggle. It is my girlfriend from adolescents who is visiting me from Texas.
I am still stuck in my plank when the others are in downward dog, the instructor barks orders about us being insolent teenagers. I don’t take it personal because she is simply telling us to keep our heads up and chins in. She is teaching Yoga, a discipline I choose to practice as part of my recovery program.
Both running and Yoga are disciplines. My instructor was teaching us the right way to do Yoga. It takes repetition and focus to excel. My girlfriend and I met in art class in our early teenage years. We live states apart and rarely see one another. My focus was off just a bit that morning.
Discipline In the Early Years
By the time I was fifteen I had had my first sip of alcohol. A common shared story in the rooms of AA is the experience of the first drink. When a normal drinker has a bad experience with alcohol it will stick with them and they will curtail their drinking habits. But when the alcoholic has the same experience, they will crave more. My first sip was uneventful, but the first time I felt the effects of a hangover that has stuck with until the present day.
That particular experience was from a trip to visit my sister at college. My friend, whom I did Yoga with, accompanied me. When I asked her about that weekend, she shared a memory of the football game, where mine was of the dreaded hangover.
Following that experience I did not have the discipline to say, “no” to a drug that had such power over me.
Discipline Is Learned
Discipline is a learned behavior, not something we are born with. When my daughters were young, each day after school, following a snack break, I sat them down at the kitchen table to do their school work. I knew once evening rolled around, my mind would slow and if I chose to have a glass of wine my mind would come to a screeching halt. Over the years of this consistent behavior, both girls achieved success in their academics. I have discipline to thank for their achievements.
Maybe I can pat myself on the back for implementing a strong work ethic, but I lacked in other areas and the result, I demonstrated negative learned behaviors. Abusing alcohol by glamorizing it and revolving my social life around the booze did them no good. I was not disciplined when it came to drinking and I didn’t always know when to stop.
This problem began in my teenage years and followed me into my adult life.
Underage Drinking and the Role of Discipline
What is a disciplined person?
She is a person that follows rules and lives by a set of standards to guide her decision making. She can maintain self-control and not allow life to get in the way of serving her purpose.
What can parents do to break the cycle?
The answer isn’t simply to punish our children and expect them to fall inline, but to parent our children. It is our job to provide information, educational data and family history; we need to be present in our children’s lives, recognizing the signs of alcohol abuse; set rules and standards for our children and be firm on expectations; help our children with problem-solving, communication, and offer them a foundation; and build-up their confidence.
Resources for Underage Drinking
A couple weeks ago, a PR representative from Brown & Crouppen Law Firm in Missouri asked if I would share a resource on underage drinking on my blog. I am happy to oblige and decided to take it a step further and write a blog post addressing my struggles with underage drinking.
The statistics read that 70% of teens have tried alcohol before the age of 18. I don’t think much has changed since I was a teenager. Teens are still experimenting with drugs and alcohol. And while for some this is only a phase, others become addicts and life-long abusers. If we can nip it in the butt at a young age, we can save a lifetime of unrest.
The article Underage Drinking and Its Dangers shared by BC Law Firm is a comprehensive review of why kids drink, social and personal factors; the dangers, social and medical; signs; talking with our children and other potential risks.
The above (What parents can do to break the cycle?) are practices that my husband and I did attempt to instill in our daughters, but we epically failed when it came to discipline. We demonstrated to them how to live an undisciplined life in regards to our relationship with alcohol.
I did not lead by example.
Discipline: Christ is Key
Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life.
Proverbs 22:6 GNT
My journey started with God disciplining me from a night of debauchery. What you might perceive as a punishment turned into a loving gift. As His child I am to learn His way of living and that is through Christ. Christ makes it possible for me to remain sober and serve others. I have decided to not forsaken that relationship, but to continue to grow as a Christian. The key for my growth is discipline.
Each day we can start by giving it all to God and at the close of the day reflect, being grateful for another day, sober-minded.
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