If I asked you, “How are you” and you said, “Fine,” does that mean you are
F@cked &p, Insecure, Neurotic, & Emotional?
This past week my Yoga instructor used these colorful words to illustrate her point. How often do we use the word fine to express how we feel? Simply stating fine we lack expressing emotion. Pardon her French, although she is a classy lady, she has a sailor’s mouth. It works for her because she is authentic and open.
Openness is one of my favorite qualities, not just in a Yoga instructor, but people in general.
Be An Open Book
It’s time to be open…
Problem #1
At the conclusion of each day, maybe 5 days per week, I found myself having at least one glass of wine to unwind. I would uncork a bottle, pour myself a glass, simply to take the edge off. Wine was used to numb my growing anxiety, and deal with the uncertainties of life. Basically, I drank wine for the numbing affects.
This is an indicator of a drinking problem, drinking to numb my emotions. What I didn’t understand is that feeling is a necessary part of living. What I really needed was to process my feelings properly. Taking that one glass of wine, masked my problems and did not allow for proper healing to take place. This wasn’t my first indicator of a drinking problem.
Problem #2
Since the beginning, I would drink alcohol for the entertainment value. My friends and I would drink excessively. I didn’t always know when to stop and never wanted the fun to end. I drank alcohol to fill a void, to make me feel alive at times.
Not to add confusion, but often times I drank alcohol to feel. I liked the elusive feeling it offered. I drank alcohol to fill a void, when there were many healthy alternatives which could have been used to fill that void.
Open My Eyes
These two realities became apparent when I opened my eyes to my problem. But just opening my eyes did not solve my problem. I saw the problem, but did nothing about it. I didn’t know what to do or even if I wanted to do anything about it.
In recovery it is time to take a honest look at myself, not the woman I want others to see me as. My identity became lost and I found I had an Identity In Crisis. The last couple years I discovered my true authentic self is so much more attractive. The beauty of holistic aging is the openness allows us to see our inner beauty.
Open My Mind
The reason I let my problem go for so long is because I led my life on self-will. I tried to curtail my drinking. My husband and I talked about our problems, but did nothing about them. I did not have an open mind to consider a healthy solution. The concept of holistic aging and openness allow for healthy alternatives to flow.
Once I accepted self-will wasn’t working I was open to other ideas. Now I am much more aware of not just my problems but how others deal or do not deal with their own problems. When we humans rely solely on ourselves or the people in our lives for peace they rarely succeed when it comes to recovery.
How does Openness affect your behavior?
Open My Heart
By opening my mind to a solution, my heart followed suit. During a time when I was desperate for redemption my heart was willing to let Jesus in. Not that I wasn’t a believer in the past, I grew up in the church, but was a skeptic. Going to church and doing an occasional bible study over the years wasn’t enough for me, but through my personal experience my heart was ripe and ready to fully accept Christ.
“Happy are the pure in heart.”
Matthew 5:8a
It’s time to openly examine yourself…
It’s time to get reacquainted, take an honest inventory, dig deep. During this difficult time you will be able to find the roots of your problems. It’s time to feel and process those emotions. Then you will discover and fall in love with your authentic self.
As we age we get stuck in our ways. Holistic aging promotes openness, so we can break the chains of self-will. Finally, freeing ourselves from our flawed self.
Open Your Mouth
So how are you? Fine?
Faithful, Involved, kNowledgeable, & Experienced
One response to “Openness is for the O in hOlistic aging”
[…] were not at a healthy place when we decided to engage in drinking with others. Problem #2 in O is for Openness is my focus on this blog post. Both my husband and I like to have fun and did not want the fun to […]