I love to have fun just as much as the next girl. But when it comes to drinking alcohol I don’t let alcohol dictate my fun. And to be completely honest, the fun I once had out with my friends isn’t the same as the fun I have today. Nothing compares to my past and recreational drinking with my friends.

Unfortunately, the fun for me turned into something more serious, an addiction to alcohol. Today I am well aware how alcohol impacts my life and am quite mindful of it’s use. This post is for the person who still enjoys the alcohol, occasionally regrets their choices and is resistant to change.

When recreational drinking prompts the need for change…

My lust for alcohol brought me where I am today, hanging out in the rooms of recovery. It is in those rooms where I find motivation and inspiration to stay the course but it’s not always about the alcohol. I remain in recovery because I love to hear the stories of how God is working in each person’s life. It’s humbling to be among people who are vulnerable enough to share their life struggles.

She said… He said…

A Couples Testimony

She says, “I just wanted to be loved. I had three marriages each destroyed by drugs and alcohol.”

He says, “I never knew love, infidelity was my problem.”

The testimony…

We each have a story, one that has caused the need for change in our lives. Merriam-Webster defines testimony as 2a. an open acknowledgement and 2b. a public profession of religious experience. Once a member of a twelve step group completes their steps they offer their testimony.

Per AI overview: A twelve step program is a peer-led, mutual-help framework for recovery. These programs use a set of 12 guiding steps, emphasizing honesty, making amends, and helping others, with experienced members (sponsors) guiding newcomers through the process in anonymous group settings.

Celebrate Recovery: Faith-based Twelve Steps

The testimony for Celebrate Recovery is their faith-based story. It includes four parts: life before, how one got into recovery, how their relationship with Jesus transformed them, and what life is like now.

Listen up, it’s all I ask… is Part One of my Testimony

Alcoholic’s Anonymous: Spiritual-based Twelve Steps

In the rooms of Alcoholic’s Anonymous testimony’s are also shared. They are told by a secular perspective, including a higher power of their choosing. Each based on their struggles with alcohol or for drugs, Narcotic’s Anonymous.

I have heard numerous AA testimonies but did not complete the twelve-steps with my sponsor so I did not offer my testimony.

Eighteen months into my recovery I changed the course of my recovery.

Change is a Process

It is alcohol that initiated my journey but after months of attending Alcoholic’s Anonymous and abstaining from alcohol use I made a change. The goal of my recovery is to be on a forward path for growth. Recovery is a journey and continuous.

Everyone is on their own journey. We each have unique experiences and share many of the same struggles. Our idea of change varies according to our goals.

Another goal I have is to maintain self-control and show up as the best person I can be. I have discovered that alcohol is not my main problem but it is a major contributor. I needed to change the way I viewed alcohol and not place blame on the substance.

I said… He said…

Our Words

I said, “Its time to switch to water, I had enough to drink.”

He said with a hint of sarcasm, “Oh… we can’t have too much fun.”

It’s more than sharing one’s testimony…

It’s one thing to hear a person’s story of how they at one time abused alcohol and drugs but to witness the behavior takes it a step further. The drunks behavior doesn’t just leave a lasting impression but reminds me of my troubled past.

Testimony’s are told hourly at recovery meetings throughout the world. Each voice makes an impact on my recovery, but equally important is to be present when the alcoholic or problem drinker is in action. The slurred speech, falling down drunk behaviors are the sensory reminders of the person I don’t want to be.

It’s not for me to judge them because I was once like them. They serve as a reminder of how far I have come and what is at stake if I don’t take my drinking seriously. Getting drunk on alcohol will only impede my growth.

The Recreational Drinker

AI states recreational drinking means consuming alcohol for pleasure, relaxation, or social enjoyment, rather than for medicinal purposes. And medicinal purpose is to use alcohol as a solvent, preservative, and pharmacological effects. The majority of alcohol consumption is for recreational use.

Our culture thrives on alcohol. Not everyone who drinks is alcoholic but when left unchecked over time it’s easy to develop an addiction to alcohol. It is up to each of us to be mindful of our drinking and for those who can’t stop abstinence is key. Everyday people step foot into the rooms of Alcoholic’s Anonymous to address their potential problem with alcohol abuse.

But not everyone who drinks has a problem. This doesn’t mean that they should not be mindful of their drinking. We each need to understand how alcohol impacts us and how we show up when we consume it.

The Shift From Social Drinking to Alcoholism, provided by the Gateway Foundation states: most social drinkers don’t decline into alcoholism. Becoming an alcoholic is a long process that involves many factors. However, if you engage in social drinking multiple times a week, this can give way to increased tolerance and a desire to drink more. These are the early hallmarks of alcoholism.

I did… He did…

Our Actions

Last night, after I drank my margarita, my husband and our friends hit the town square. We go to the town square for our nightly entertainment. For some it’s the music and others it’s the liquid refreshment.

We live in a community that encourages alcohol use. Each town square has at least one bar and several other bars that surround it. The nightly entertainment is live music and the musicians get a percentage of the bar proceeds. They are always encouraging the audience to raise a glass and toast their favorite beverage. If someone struggles with alcoholism it’s not the place to be.

My husband and his friend continued to enjoy their liquid fun, while my girlfriends and I focused on the music and dancing. At the end of the night my husband was inebriated and it was hard for me to watch.

Maintaining the fun…

A report from the National Library of Medicine states: People like to drink alcohol because of its ability to alter emotional states. Alcohol induces euphoria, relaxation, and disinhibition while reducing stress and anxiety. Consistent with human self-report, animal studies also suggest that alcohol produces a rewarding as well as an anxiolytic effect (Coop et al., 1990; Blanchard et al., 1993; Spanagel et al., 1995; Da Silva et al., 2005).

At one time I could not fathom the idea of not including alcohol to perpetuate the fun when out with friends. The laughs would flow continuously with our alcohol. And to remain awake late into the evening alcohol was a must.

I had to experience abstinence from alcohol and introspect my own life to get to the point where I don’t view alcohol as I once did. It’s true that alcohol did make my night more enjoyable. Today I tire easy and cannot sustain the same level and type of fun.

What many people, like my husband, don’t understand is that there are other ways to have fun. Just being in the presence of my friends is all the fun I need. What I like most about my girlfriends is that they accept me just as I am.

While I have friends who actively engage in recreational drinking and get sozzled, others abstain from alcohol completely. The women I have been spending time with lately, I have known for the last couple years, and although they drink alcohol I have never witnessed them impaired.

We are each on our own journey and many of my friends don’t need to worry about alcoholism. Like me their husband’s each drink differently than they do. But not everyone is bothered by their spouses drinking like I am.

Recovery is Key

In recovery we are working on ourselves. We can not control how other’s show up, nor their choices. I struggle with my husband and the impact alcohol has on our marriage. It barely seems fair that he makes the bad choices and I am the one who needs to seek help!

I said… He said…

Our Words

I said, “I’m off to my recovery meeting to work on myself and do my part to save our marriage.”

He said, “…”

A God-wink this week was at my weekly recovery meeting when I got to hear a couples testimony. The couple met in a secular 12-step group decades ago. Today they share how God continues to work in their recovery. Their testament provides hope.

She said… He said…

A Couples Testimony

She said, “A family that prayers together, stays together.”

He said, “Everyday I pray over my wife and our marriage.”

Following the testimony during group a couple ladies mentioned that we should not be angry with the drunk. Anger is an emotion that I have struggled with this past week. My anger is directed towards my husband and it’s only hurting me.

Marriage for those in recovery isn’t easy. Although my husband and I have a great relationship alcohol continues to be a stumbling block in our marriage. We are each on our own faith-led journey and I need to trust in God’s plan for our marriage.

Faith-based Recovery

It’s my faith that is shaping and changing my recovery. God is continually working in my life and my marriage. This morning my Sunday School teacher commented without even knowing my past week’s struggle that complaining to our loved one’s about their behavior doesn’t change their heart. Her reminder is that change is an inside job between each of us, individually, and God.

Recovery from Alcoholism

Although Alcoholic’s Anonymous isn’t a group for me, I know that if I continue to struggle with alcohol the doors are always open. The group is very welcoming. And it’s more than a sobriety group but a place to introspect your life.

Al-Anon

Al-Anon is a support group designed for individuals, typically family members or other loved ones, affected by someone else’s alcoholism, whether or not that person has sought treatment or undergone treatment.

Is your recreational drinking fun or do you notice a change taking place?

Recreational drinking is a favorite past-time but there is a fine line between having fun and an addiction to alcohol. It’s important that we each know the impact alcohol has on us. And only we alone, individually, can recover.

What was once fun for me turned into a gradual dependency. I was the first to notice the impact alcohol had on my ego. The alcohol took hostage of my emotions.

How does alcohol impact you? Does it inflate your ego? Are you an emotional drinker? If you don’t drink… How do you show up when a loved one gets intoxicated.