Harvesting Ideas Through Blogging
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart…
~ Anonymous
When the storms of life occur; seasons of drought, sending your friends into hibernation and winds of change, scattering your friends; how well will your relationships withstand life’s natural disasters? What keeps your friendships grounded?
Over the last twenty-eight years, my husband and I have traveled through many seasons of change. We transitioned from one season to the next with family and friends. Watching as loved ones struggled with sickness and life trials. Being present when friends could not withstand the fire, choosing to extinguish their marriage. Always there for our friends who sought our help to extinguish the flames, not their marriage. We were present each season, but not fully equipped with the necessary tools to be really present. It was our deep roots which kept us grounded, but our irrigation system was lacking.
Addressing the Problem
During the time of indulging my passion for alcohol I was a fun friend, always present for a good time. But I was not fully present; living either in the past, holding on to resentment* or looking towards the future, carrying anxiety. It wasn’t until I paused, took the time to reflect and accept my flawed self that I could be my best self, to better serve my friend in need.
When it comes to a strong friendship, a friendship is only as strong as it’s roots. When we transitioned into a season of healing, leaving our hometown*, we did not dig up our roots and take them with us. It was those friendships with deep roots which continued to offer love and support.
Each relationship reacts differently during seasons of change. When life happens certain friends rally, lean in to offer the needed support. These friendships are constants, like an evergreen tree. Unflinching to the destruction I brought onto my life. Others watched from a distance, offering space.
Planting Additional Roots
We may not always be physically present when our friendship is needed. The first year of sobriety my husband and I focused on us, our marriage. We moved away to Maryland/Florida, not out of spite for others, but self preservation*. During a good year of healing I was able to plant strong roots and beautiful friendships sprouted up around me.
Then we headed South for the winter to plant more roots, looking forward to cultivating more friendships. It was difficult to leave our Pennsylvania/Maryland friends behind. It is reassuring to know when we return, in the Spring, our friends will be there, like beautiful perennials.
God’s Plan
So when the Autumn winds gust, scattering our friendships and sending us into hibernation during the winter months; the Springtime will always allow for our friendships to thrive. Over the years, my husband and I noticed our closest friendships have gone through seasons of change and came out stronger.
If you have entrusted me with your friendship in the past, rest assured the roots of our friendship have remained strong. God made sure to surround me with the people which He thought would best aid in my healing, strengthening me to become the friend you deserve. And, when you have a time of need God will make sure I am there for you.
*Denotes a future blog post.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV
As an imperfect human my growth has been spurred on by a life catastrophe, because I chose to ignore my struggles. Instead of choosing to look inward and identify the source of the problem, which was ME, I placed blame on the society around me. The end result was to numb my discomfort and quell my anxieties with that one glass of wine. By the grace of God I was able to seek forgiveness and unearth my flaws. Through sharing with others I was able to accept my flawed self and learn I did not need to suffer alone. The result peace, from a loving God, not the spirit in the bottle.
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