Raw emotion is an inspiration for most of my writing, good and bad. While written expression allows me to feel, it doesn’t always help me with processing emotion that causes the pain. That is when my emotions take over and start to corrupt my messaging.

Like now… the anger within my heart space starts to seep through the cracks of my broken heart. I know I need healing but first I need to expose my thoughts and see my part. Its not easy but a necessary part of my recovery.

The Process of Processing Emotion…

Taking Time

The audacity of my friend’s request eats away at the kindness of our word exchange. I’ve been sitting on the feeling of disappointment for six months. In February she intended to review my book and hasn’t. She has always been an ardent supporter of my recovery and in turn told me she was encouraged after I published my book.

In the past (before recovery) I was very reactive. I didn’t take the time necessary to digest my feelings and the result emotions overflowed impacting my relationships. In recovery we learn to pause and feel what’s going on behind the surface of our wounds.

The alcoholic and/or unhealed person isn’t looking for the root causes, instead chooses to numb with their substance of choice. Alcohol depresses the central nervous system and alters key areas of the brain that control behavior and emotions. Recovery takes time and all good things come to those who are patient with the process.

Naming Our Emotions

I am hurt but I am comforted.

My friend hasn’t communicated with me, leaving me uncertain as to her thoughts. Silence doesn’t offer answers but long-suffering builds patience. Patience is something I struggle with and I know to trust in God’s plan and His timing.

I am confused but I am certain.

My friend had a plan. Over this past year I witnessed her plan unfold. She would be the first to tell me to place my trust in God. That He gives us everything we need to accomplish our goals.

I am angry but I am happy.

My friend, a woman who has been one of the most inspirational figures in my recovery has published a book. Her words will provide healing to those who have been carrying childhood wounds. I get to watch as her book flourishes, finding those it can heal.

I am jealous but I am at peace.

My friend worked her butt off, not just this past year marketing her book but over the last couple decades of her recovery. Not only did she spend hours in recovery meetings but earned her certification, LPCMH. She provides hope for all who have chosen recovery.

The goal of recovery is peace. Peace is an internal state of being. It allows us to resist the external stimuli created from conflict.

Releasing Judgement

Judgement from others is only a perception. What we perceive reflects our internal struggles. It’s a clue that we still have work to do in our recovery. Recovery isn’t something that said and done, but recovery is ongoing.

I am known to prematurely judge others and to be wrong. This happened when I asked another friend, who also is a licensed therapist, LPCMH, the exact same question, “Would you offer feedback on my book?”

I assumed because I didn’t recognize her Amazon review that she did not take the time to read and write a review. After my accusatory (polite) text message I learned she read my book in two days and left a review under an unrecognizable name.

It’s important to allow ourselves to feel a certain way without judging. Afterall we are only human. But we need to do so with a clear head, not one corrupted with a substance.

Listening To the Message

Reflect on how each feeling is impacting my recovery. What does the hurt, confusion, anger and jealousy tell me about myself? This allows me to be open and identify the root causes.

I can clearly view my message when I remove it from my thoughts and place it on the computer screen. No longer do I have the enemy telling me that I’m not enough, that my writing is not worthy. It’s my way of stepping out of denial.

My message tells me that it takes a tremendous amount of work as a writer to get your publications seen.

Choosing My Response After Processing Emotion

Everything that I have learned is from the women who have been walking the journey of recovery well before I started. Today I get to walk with them! No one is in front of the other and we are not trying to win a race.

My book, Swallow Your Pride, A Writer’s Guide for Recovery, sits quietly on Amazon. I haven’t asked many people to read it and offer a review. If pride is something you struggle with I encourage you to take a look at it and if called write a review.

Pride is a primary barrier to seeking recovery.

Author Recommendation

Amy Rice, LPCMH, the author of Unhearing the Lies That Shaped Me, released her book last week. If the book speaks to you, I encourage you to purchase it on Amazon. At the moment it has one ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐review. Please consider offering her a review.

The more reviews provided on Amazon the more people it will reach. Amy is only one of the women who have impacted my recovery. It’s my goal to share with others not just the book but the person who has inspired me.

Don’t dwell, move on…

It’s important as writers that we read publications that align with our writing. If I discovered Amy’s book in the last five years of my recovery I would have read it. Today my focus is Fiction.

I didn’t have time to write this post but during a morning devotional I was reminded to use my time wisely. The thoughts that have been lingering, have been taking up too much head space. Writing is the only way for me clear the confusion in my mind.

Processing My Emotion & Moving On

It’s time to let go and LET GOD. I am working on completing the first draft of a Redemption Fiction book and haven’t been on my platforms. Hopefully you will not be hearing from me in the next few weeks so I can remain focused on my writing!

Mastering Communication, Stop Talking, Start Listening is another post focused on communication.