Lust: The Law of Illicit Physical Attraction.

photography of person peeking

Don’t Look

To avoid showing physical attraction to another it's best not to look.
     When you first noticed me, I noticed you too.
     Then your look started to linger and it roused an emotion buried deep inside of me.
     There was a hunger in your eyes, which fed an emptiness, a craving from my soul.
     I wanted to warn you, "Don't look," for I was weak and I demanded your attention.
     I didn't need to guard my heart, because it was my body you were after.
     My body spoke to you, it kept you speechless.
     But then you learned to guard your eyes, so I could no longer tempt you.
     Until your words slipped out and they scared me away.


Lust it’s so powerful. Our human bodies are attracted to what pleases our eyes. I large glass of red wine or a big piece of decadent chocolate cake, we can’t help but to look. The solution for many addicts might be out of sight, out of mind, but there are other addictions that are much more powerful and the temptation can’t be readily removed.

I can only share my experience or lack there of with adultery. When a partner strays from their marriage to feed their carnal desire of the flesh, my solution is just don’t look. My husband claims that he doesn’t lust after other women, but he does have friends who do. I have close girl friends who have experienced painful infidelity within their marriage. From my experience with others, men appear to be much more enthralled by the female body, than women are of the male body.

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:28 ESV

Sure a man who is addicted to pornography can block the sites which tempt him. He can choose to not buy a picturesque magazine. There are support groups for his addiction, but what happens when during the healing process he comes face to face with his temptation?

How can he simply turn off his desire? Our addictions are so entrenched in our being. There are underlying problems which need addressed before the obsession is removed. Problems stemming from childhood or ongoing problems within a marriage. The addict shouldn’t point their finger towards their spouse for their sexual dysfunction.

I can’t believe I am about to type this… but I understand why some men stray. Not that it makes it Okay, because cheating on your spouse to me is the ultimate betrayal. But when a marriage is suffering, the power of one’s sexual drive can take over and they can lose control.

There are women who also are addicted to sex. However, many of the woman I hang with can take it or leave it. Personally, I get turned on when my husband yearns for me. There I typed it… My ego likes to be desired and I like to be in control.

During a time of my life when I was most vulnerable my insecurities were in need of attention. I needed someone to make me feel better. And what better substitute than a broken man who is addicted to the flesh? Although I didn’t succumb to adultery, it had become clear how easy one can be tempted into an adulterous affair.

For anyone married for twenty-five plus years they understand that a marriage can go on autopilot. It takes a lot of work to keep a marriage exciting and fresh. When the honeymoon stage is long gone our hormones change and our bodies change, but we still have our desires and insecurities. Our lust-filled temptations just don’t go away.

So while some men might have impulses to feed their sexual needs, there are women who might have the need to be desired. Everyday we are surrounded by physical attractions, at children’s sporting events, the workplace, and even at rehabilitation centers. We are constantly bombarded with people who want to tempt us away from our strong foundations.

When a physical attraction develops into a lust-filled temptation, there are laws which should be applied to mitigate potential problems from being exposed to others who are struggling. A marriage built on a strong foundation and well maintained will offer the best solution. Even if the spouse isn’t physically present, they should remain in our hearts.

We need to remind ourselves that it is a sin to covet another person’s partner. And when a mutual physical attraction does take hold, to look away and not feed another person’s temptation of the body. Our eyes are the windows to our souls. We can protect our hearts by guarding our eyes. Because once the eyes communicate, the words will follow.

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

Proverbs 4:23 ESV

If you are struggling or just curious about sexual addiction read Healthline Sex Addiction.

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